On Atheism

What would my life be like had I lost all hope for something more, something better? This I cannot, nor do I wish to imagine. I have had my share of glimpses into that dark hole of hoplessness. It is one of the scariest, most depressing places to be. Where does my hope come from? God is my hope. True, I hid for so long. True, I find myself continuing to hide sometimes. Yet, at night, in the darkness of my bedroom, I called out to Him. We spoke, even if only to argue. He has always been my Wilson from Cast Away. It is true that only I know what He's telling me sometimes and I too get the funny looks from people when I pray in public. I used to care. I used to find myself embarrassed by the stares, but that has passed. Hindsight truly is 20/20. It often felt like the Lord ignored my prayers, could care less about my hurts, and at times it felt as though He inflicted pain upon me. These are the thoughts of a lost, immature, young girl. Though I lack wisdom on many things, I find God giving me wisdom as to who He is and who I am in Him. My faith in Him is strong.

This brings me to discuss something that has been brought to my attention several times within the last month or two. Before my senior year of high school, I never knew anyone who claimed to be an Atheist. I knew, and know, many who claim to be of some religion and don't follow it, but never one who refused God's existence. I was confronted with such a person on a very personal level. I write this with an air of sorrw, not for having met this person, but for having utterly failed them. I began a romantic relationship, my second serious one, the summer before twelfth grade hit. The guy had many emotional, and looking back, psychological problems. He had never denied the existence of God, though he didn't follow any religion, before his nearly fatal accident. However, after about a year in a hospital, he declared himself an Atheist. At the time, I was on the border line of having a personal relationship with my Father and blaming Him for all bad things. I never once questioned His existence. There I was, falling in love and faced with a question that I wouldn't truly believe my own answer to until almost two years later. The question he asked, "Why do you believe in a God you cannot see, hear, smell, nor touch?" In that moment, God had me respond perfectly. I know this was God's doing, for after I responded I found myself reaching a new realization. My response was, "Without at least believing in something/someone greater than myself, my life would have no purpose."

So, I pose these questions and ideas to those claiming to be Atheists: What is your life purpose? If you believe in no higher power, then what are you living for? Doesn't the thought of living simply to die and become nothing seem rather depressing? So some may say they'll change the world and leave their mark, but what good is all of that if you don't reap the benefits or even see your work succeed? Some of the most famous artists died before their works were ever considered a significant contribution. Do we have souls or are we just a bunch of chemicals sophisticatedly combined? When a loved one dies, isn't it much more comforting to think that their spirit lives on and that they aren't simply buried or cremated along with their bodies? As children, we often believe in things and people we have never seen. Then, we grow up and think we deserve an explanation for everything. We can't accept that some things are beyond our knowledge and understanding. If I told you that Santa Claus is really a man named Saint Nicholas, can you deny that Santa Claus existed at some point in time, if not now? Why then is it so hard to believe that there was a man named Jesus who died on a cross to save our sins? It is a documented event. It is not as though one person wrote of this, but many men witnessed first-hand and documented this happening. I cannot believe that any human can be satisfied with the idea that when they die that is the end. By human nature, we care about our own interests equally, a more often more, than those of others. Would we really care about changing the world and making it a better place if we thought nothing was in it for us? I highly doubt it. Belief in something greater than one's self is essential to truly living and having a meaningful life. Without this, without God, life is without purpose and without purpose there is no need for life.